I hope there will be no more devastating typhoons to come!

Exactly 2 years ago, typhoon Ondoy hit the Philippines. Actually rainfall started 2 days before. But on September 26, 2009 (Saturday), the pouring of rain was non-stop. I went home 6am on that day from night shift. Slept like a baby until 12 noon without knowing that it's already flooding downstairs. My parents were trying to wake me up but I was dead tired from last night's duty. It was too cold for me to notice that there's no electricity too. As I went down  I saw our things were on top of the other less important things. It's just the 2nd time in my whole 22 years of existence that I experienced knee-deep flood at home. Therefore, I thought that this is different.

Later that day some of my friends started texting me. My workmate Katrina who lives in Marikina texted that she can't make it to work because they're on the roof of their neighbor's house already. She was crying and really scared. The flood in their place is 1 floor deep. I heard that Provident Village is in the same situation. We tried to call my Tita and cousins who live there every time possible. They were not okay. Very hungry and helpless.

Mum cooked food for my Tita's family later that night. They haven't eaten the whole day. Thank you cigarettes, apples, and water for keeping them alive! 

my tito and tita's home

My Dad waited for their go signal if it's safe for him to bring them food. We waited until early morning the next day. Just in time for me to go to work. It should have been my rest day but I was asked to go to work. My colleagues were on 24 hours duty already. I have to replace them. I took the train and decided not to sit for me to be able to see Ondoy's aftermath.  

UERM MEdical Center

UERM parking lot

SM City Sta. Mesa

LRT 2 V. Mapa Station

Despite the flood, I traveled all the way to Our Lady of Lourdes Hospital. I was in my uniform  but I managed to arrive in the hospital clean and white. I had no choice but to step on the seats of the pedicab and jeepney. Sorry! But there's this one incident that made me cry. On the way to work just in front of Lourdes, along P. Sanchez St., I saw how strangers help each other to cross the pool of dirty water.  I started to cry. :') and told myself how proud I am to be a Filipino. 

bayanihan

They served as an inspiration! I felt very happy even though I worked for 18 hours straight, (from 6am until 12 midnight) with limited bottles of water for drinking, without clean water to wash my hands (alcohol became my best friend) and with 2 slices of meat and a cup of rice for the whole day. It was one of the most tiring duties I had ever. Some patients from the ground floor were transferred to our unit. The census boomed and we have limited resources. Very toxic yet I can feel the "bayanihan" around me. Everyone is helping everybody. Parang birthday ng lahat. Parang Christmas. Lahat mabait sa lahat. :)

On the other hand, the worst part was when I asked help from one person special to me, he did not mind at all. Maybe he was not aware with what's happening to us here in Manila. I need to look for someone to cover for my slot for the next shift or else I'll go on 24 hours duty. That, I can't do anymore.  I cried again, but this time it's because of disappointment. Luckily, we were able to contact one of our staff. (Thank you Ecai!)

 I had a lot of realizations on my way home. It was a very heartening and ironically overwhelming day indeed.

A Letter to the Man I will Marry and Love Forever

This is my own version of Cathy Babao-Guballa's A Letter to the Man I'll Love Someday published August 8, 2010. I had most of the lines edited to make it more personal.

So here it goes. My letter to the man I will marry and love forever.

Dear You,

To be honest, I question myself if you really exist. The only convincing factor left for me to believe that you do is my faith in my God and His will.

There is a part of every little girl's heart that envisions her princecharming.

At age three, he is someone who can save me from hunger. Someone who gives me siopao or donuts or anything that I'll enjoy eating as I wake up from my afternoon nap. Just like Daddy.

In elementary school, he becomes the guy who studies next to my school. My teacher's son. He who is sweating but looks clean with his fair complexion and red cheeks and FYI still smells good even after his soccer training. The one I wanted to sit beside with inside our school bus on our way home. Everyday if possible.

Come high school, it's this guy who stand with me at the prom, who Dad stared at the door, who provided me with loads of first time experiences. It was my very first time to receive three red roses that turned into black in the refrigerator after trying to preserve it for weeks or even months. He was also the first real man who held my hand and made my heart skip a beat. My first real dance. And more faded memories of a night that seemed almost too magical to be real.

 

Sixteen years into this life, after learning the story of Romeo and Juliet,  I thought I found you in my first love. He who told me the sweetest words and made the most promising vows. "I am your first Romeo, you will be my last Juliet". The first person who took my heart away and sadly, shattered my innocent heart into tiny little pieces.

After that misery, the vision of my princecharming turned to someone like Superman. The hero who saved me from the fall and  carried me on his back while we fly on top of the world. We danced and loved like the first time. (Wait, he was my first dance. My ball love date.  He's back!) But he gave me more bittersweet words and broken promises. "I'll take care of you. Don't be sad, don't be blue. I'll never break your heart in two. Just count on me your whole life through, 'Cause I'll take care of you."

A couple of heartbreaks and a few years wiser, I will admit that I wonder if you're for real.

I may already know you or may still meet you someday—something I leave completely up to God because I'm pretty sure our story will be epic.

However, I can't promise you that I'd make the world's most perfect princess. In fact I'll probably keep you on your toes and amuse you with my idiosyncrasies—it's impossible to mention all of them.

I can promise to be your best friend though—that person you can rant to after a rough day when your boss is killing you, the hand you can hold when you get sad, the person you can text when situations get awkward, or the only person you want to receive a warm hug from when you feel shaky and cold.

I'll probably mess up your hair sometimes and ask you to keep it short. I'll hug you for too long, but that'll only because I absolutely adore you and I missed you even we were just together few hours ago. I'll bury my head in your shoulder with some pinching on your arms during scary movies. I'll make you feel like superman when we successfully cross the road. I'll cook your favorite food on your birthday.

I'll respect your nights-out with the boys (as long as it is really JUST boys!). I'll make sure that all of my friends will be saying "Kay, you're very blessed to have him" after meeting you. Don't worry I enjoy watching basketball games. I will remind you if it's time to watch the championship game. We'll even have different teams to cheer and will bet on who's winning just to have an excuse for a date after the game.

I know that I tend to be too clingy. But, I'll do my best to give you your me-time and space for you to miss me. You'll have time for your music. But during your mini performances, I'll capture every millisecond of it like your no.1 fan. You'll have time for your sport, I'll be your cheerleader. I will not disturb you during your quiet moment, I'll do my best to be as quiet as possible.

Don't be anxious in getting sick, I am your private duty nurse. I'll cook chicken soup just to make you feel better just a professional chef. Or I'll eat the same bland hospital food so that you won't feel bad with what you're eating. We will enjoy the food as if we're eating in a 5 star hotel. 

We'll go on epic adventures together. Tour around the world, take awesome pictures, eat exotic food, and never run out of things to tell each other along the way. We will run free. Walk on shore under the stars. Sing on top of our lungs. Laugh like there's no tomorrow.

I won't be waiting for you to sweep me off my feet and take me on a magic carpet ride, because I know I won't need anything like that to fall for you—I will love you for you.

You'll be the guy who takes me the way I am plus my mood swings.

You'll be that someone I envision a future with—us filling out visa forms as we travel the universe, picking out our first unit, buying our first car and will argue what color to choose, or being snap-happy stage parents in our preschooler's annual mini-plays.

And I keep hoping that maybe someday when we find each other, you will become that someone whose smile I wake up to in the morning and the last one I speak to every night.

So to the man I know does exist, and who will help me maybe make sense of the world someday, this man I can't wait to love. Please know that I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you. But for now, I wait. Fingers crossed and palms held together, I hope that you're out there somewhere, waiting for me, too.

With the hope I will be yours for always,

Kay

I'm Busy Getting Stronger

I can't promise that this will be my last moving on post. Actually, this is just the first for this blog. I got two blogs! The other one is blissful heart of a kooky mind., where I have random posts about life, fun, heartaches, clothes, and food!!!

This is a song that I accidentally discovered from my sister's lappy, which by the way is the one I'm using right now. Hehe. When I saw the title it was automatic, I submitted myself to it. It's like a magnet to my optic and acoustic nerves. Very jargony? Sige na nga, to my eyes and ears na lang. Every word of this song exactly describes what I'm feeling now. For the lyrics click here. Sara Evans' A Little Bit Stronger.

I would like to share this song to every single person who is going through the same stage, the letting go and moving on part. It's my least favorite. But yes, it is the time when you'll really learn a lot and discover  so much about yourself and the bittersweet reality of life. I'm savoring each moment of it. I know one day, I'll be able to tell my children and grand children how challenging it was for me to pass this chapter and I successfully went through it. It's not easy breezy I swear but I'm getting a little bit stronger as days pass by.