A Letter to the Man I will Marry and Love Forever

This is my own version of Cathy Babao-Guballa's A Letter to the Man I'll Love Someday published August 8, 2010. I had most of the lines edited to make it more personal.

So here it goes. My letter to the man I will marry and love forever.

Dear You,

To be honest, I question myself if you really exist. The only convincing factor left for me to believe that you do is my faith in my God and His will.

There is a part of every little girl's heart that envisions her princecharming.

At age three, he is someone who can save me from hunger. Someone who gives me siopao or donuts or anything that I'll enjoy eating as I wake up from my afternoon nap. Just like Daddy.

In elementary school, he becomes the guy who studies next to my school. My teacher's son. He who is sweating but looks clean with his fair complexion and red cheeks and FYI still smells good even after his soccer training. The one I wanted to sit beside with inside our school bus on our way home. Everyday if possible.

Come high school, it's this guy who stand with me at the prom, who Dad stared at the door, who provided me with loads of first time experiences. It was my very first time to receive three red roses that turned into black in the refrigerator after trying to preserve it for weeks or even months. He was also the first real man who held my hand and made my heart skip a beat. My first real dance. And more faded memories of a night that seemed almost too magical to be real.

 

Sixteen years into this life, after learning the story of Romeo and Juliet,  I thought I found you in my first love. He who told me the sweetest words and made the most promising vows. "I am your first Romeo, you will be my last Juliet". The first person who took my heart away and sadly, shattered my innocent heart into tiny little pieces.

After that misery, the vision of my princecharming turned to someone like Superman. The hero who saved me from the fall and  carried me on his back while we fly on top of the world. We danced and loved like the first time. (Wait, he was my first dance. My ball love date.  He's back!) But he gave me more bittersweet words and broken promises. "I'll take care of you. Don't be sad, don't be blue. I'll never break your heart in two. Just count on me your whole life through, 'Cause I'll take care of you."

A couple of heartbreaks and a few years wiser, I will admit that I wonder if you're for real.

I may already know you or may still meet you someday—something I leave completely up to God because I'm pretty sure our story will be epic.

However, I can't promise you that I'd make the world's most perfect princess. In fact I'll probably keep you on your toes and amuse you with my idiosyncrasies—it's impossible to mention all of them.

I can promise to be your best friend though—that person you can rant to after a rough day when your boss is killing you, the hand you can hold when you get sad, the person you can text when situations get awkward, or the only person you want to receive a warm hug from when you feel shaky and cold.

I'll probably mess up your hair sometimes and ask you to keep it short. I'll hug you for too long, but that'll only because I absolutely adore you and I missed you even we were just together few hours ago. I'll bury my head in your shoulder with some pinching on your arms during scary movies. I'll make you feel like superman when we successfully cross the road. I'll cook your favorite food on your birthday.

I'll respect your nights-out with the boys (as long as it is really JUST boys!). I'll make sure that all of my friends will be saying "Kay, you're very blessed to have him" after meeting you. Don't worry I enjoy watching basketball games. I will remind you if it's time to watch the championship game. We'll even have different teams to cheer and will bet on who's winning just to have an excuse for a date after the game.

I know that I tend to be too clingy. But, I'll do my best to give you your me-time and space for you to miss me. You'll have time for your music. But during your mini performances, I'll capture every millisecond of it like your no.1 fan. You'll have time for your sport, I'll be your cheerleader. I will not disturb you during your quiet moment, I'll do my best to be as quiet as possible.

Don't be anxious in getting sick, I am your private duty nurse. I'll cook chicken soup just to make you feel better just a professional chef. Or I'll eat the same bland hospital food so that you won't feel bad with what you're eating. We will enjoy the food as if we're eating in a 5 star hotel. 

We'll go on epic adventures together. Tour around the world, take awesome pictures, eat exotic food, and never run out of things to tell each other along the way. We will run free. Walk on shore under the stars. Sing on top of our lungs. Laugh like there's no tomorrow.

I won't be waiting for you to sweep me off my feet and take me on a magic carpet ride, because I know I won't need anything like that to fall for you—I will love you for you.

You'll be the guy who takes me the way I am plus my mood swings.

You'll be that someone I envision a future with—us filling out visa forms as we travel the universe, picking out our first unit, buying our first car and will argue what color to choose, or being snap-happy stage parents in our preschooler's annual mini-plays.

And I keep hoping that maybe someday when we find each other, you will become that someone whose smile I wake up to in the morning and the last one I speak to every night.

So to the man I know does exist, and who will help me maybe make sense of the world someday, this man I can't wait to love. Please know that I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you. But for now, I wait. Fingers crossed and palms held together, I hope that you're out there somewhere, waiting for me, too.

With the hope I will be yours for always,

Kay