Confession of a 24 Year Old Ego Feeder

All smiles as I put down the phone. He is still the best thing I ever had. 

Not until tomorrow that I will hear stories that they are back together. As Spongebob absorbs all the angst of Squidward in rock bottom, I on the other hand receive all the bitterness of a "well-nourished relationship" they're having. It is ironic that he says he is happy but in fact he is in tremendous pain. He never felt so much in love but doubted. Well at least now he knows the feeling of the giver in the other end of the relationship. And as for me, still the same, the ego feeder who embraces him in times of desperation and depression. 

Being a recipient of broken promises gives me an awesomely amazing feeling. NOT! It is as vague as my dreams from last night. I would force myself to go back to sleep trying to recall what happened but I just can't because the faces, scenes and even the feelings started to fade. It is also like munching on false assurance everyday. Nakakasawa if you eat the same thing with the same taste, aroma, and presentation, diba? Lastly, I feel as hopeful as a midget wishing to reach 6 feet. I am 100% sure that it is beyond the bounds of possibility.

But why will I settle for misery if I can walk out of that prison and run to the wilderness? I won't drown myself under the ocean of a superficial love affair. I'd rather make story telling worth adventures as I journey the world outside my comfort zone. What will keep me going is the thought that there is someone who awaits me on the other side of the jungle - that person who is man enough to keep me. He who knows that distance is just one of the bazillion challenges to reach a magnificent fairy tale ending.

As I turn 25 in a few hours, I give myself the gift of rational thinking, self-love and FREEDOM from the life of a 24 year old ego-feeder. 

P.S. This entry proves that "quarter-life crisis" is legit. 

P.P.S. I know you'll be reading this. I hope for once we could just let this go.  Pabirthday mo na. And as promised, you won't hear anything from me ever again. :) Deal?