Four Easy Steps in Conflict Solving

1. DEFINE THE PROBLEM.

Just like all the other steps in solving problems (eg. math equations, scientific investigations, Nursing Care Plans), the first thing you should do is to know what is wrong or what are you looking for. Make a statement/ algebraic expression like ab + c = ac - b. Or in real life, state the given (who, when, what, where, why, and how and all the subjective and objective cues if possible). Once the problem is known you can now take a deep breath and proceed to step no.2

2. DECIDE WHETHER THE PROBLEM IS WORTH SOLVING.

This is like the "hypothesis" where you make your plans. The right time to weigh the pros and cons, then assume the outcome. This step only applies to real life tests. (Sorry to inform you kids, all your school assignments and exams should be solved cause they all have answers unlike adult situations.) The deep breathing exercises you had from the 1st step needs to be repeated now. (inhale...exhale...) In this phase, the essentials are: focus, rational thinking, and decisiveness. Make sure your mind is clear while you're in step 2. This is (for me) the most important step of all. Now, when you're all set, ponder on this following questions:

• Am I trying to defend myself to an ENEMY (or hater or that person who I don't even know but gives negative attention to me)? If YES, then that person is not qualified to hear anything from you. That hater will always loathe, won't believe, and will always think that you are wrong. So why bother? Proceed to the last step.
• Is this situation worth my time? effort? and comprehension? If NO, then you're all done. Proceed to the last step too.
• Am I trying to defend myself to a friend/ family member/ loved one or just simply someone precious that is worth keeping? If YES, then proceed to the next step.

3. SOLVE.

There is nothing fancy to tell in this chapter. Just to warn you, this is the most time consuming part of the course and requires loads of energy. This is the time you will explain your side, share your thoughts, accept the other person's views, and compromise. It sounds so easy but it is complicated. If you did not go through the CRUCIAL STEP no. 2 then this will be just a waste of time. If everything is all set and accomplished, to the best step you go.

4. GOOD JOB! GIVE YOURSELF A PAT ON THE BACK.

Congratulations for you are one accomplished person! This only means that either you were able to settle the misunderstanding or you courageously abandoned the fight. I will congratulate you more for doing the latter because only a tough and clever being can do such thing. Sometimes winning is knowing when to step back and retreat rather than immerse yourself to a ludicrous battle. 

This is the first life's lesson I learned this year that I would like to share with you. I was able to impress and inspire people for doing such act. And the best part is -- my heart is at peace. :)

"It's not a battle of good against evil. It's a war between forces that are fighting for the balance of power, and, when that type of battle begins, it lasts longer than others - because Allah is on both sides." --- Paulo Coelho's THE ALCHEMIST